one month later.

January 21, 2011 § Leave a comment

where to even begin…

i’ve been thinking about my blog a lot.

i thought a lot about my blog over christmas break while i was spending time in my hometown.
i thought a lot about how much i wanted my blog to capture the essence of the my holidays in the way that (i think) my post about thanksgiving did.
i thought a lot about how my blog was supposed to be filled with pictures of snow, happy moments, festive moments… baking, christmas cheer, togetherness, family, friends, etc.

but, if the past four months have drilled any one idea into my mind, it’s that: life doesn’t always pan out the way you want it to.
don’t get me wrong: i loved being home. i loved being around my family. i loved spending time in coffee shops reconnecting with my dearest friends. i loved the mountains, the sunshine. i love home.
but to be honest, i was just… really tired.
chronically fatigued.
emotionally and mentally exhausted.

it wasn’t ideal… nor was it fun. and it certainly wasn’t blog-worthy.
but it’s okay.
it’s life.

oh… i wasn’t too tired to make christmas cookies, though:

in align with the luck i had already been having… i over-baked them and was way disappointed. i also didn’t feel like they looked very christmas-y! ha, but my family didn’t seem to care, and ate most of them in the first night.
i guess that’s all that really matters. :)

and then… before i knew it, new years came and went.

twenty-one days later, here i am.
i’m honestly just happy to say that i feel like i’m living a quiet existence right now.
simple.
introspective.
reflective.
for so long, i’ve talked about embracing “the little things”… but i don’t think i truly understood what that meant until recently.
i don’t know… i feel this shift in my perceptions. i feel some growth. i feel it in the way i relate and connect to others, and in the way i’m trying to relate to myself, if that makes sense.

i’m a bit restless. sometimes, i’m even a little stifled with anticipation. there are changes coming my way. there are changes that have already taken place… but, i feel equipped.

my job is to breathe, and do the best i can with what comes my way…
i mean, isn’t that all any of us can really do?

don’t lose your nerve.

– d.

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