May 10, 2011 § Leave a comment
where to start.
i just feel like i have some things to say. i’m tired of bottling things up.
i think i’m frustrated.
well… part frustrated. maybe with myself. with others.
part anxious. so restless. SO restless!
in my downtime, i always just wanna go go go go go go go. do this and this and this. i can’t keep up.
i think lately i’ve just been craving real, true human connection.
i talked to my best friend on the phone for four hours on sunday evening. and it still didn’t feel like enough. in a sense, it felt like it barely scratched the surface.
anxious to travel. england has been on my heart like craaaazy.
anxious for photos.
anxious for learning. growing.
i’ve just been getting so lost in my deepest desires and my feelings. it’s so hard to find balance.
i’m trying. really hard.
i miss the long trips over the mountain and through the valley i used to take when living in pdx and eugene… i miss it.
i don’t know if anything will ever be good enough.
… just really frustrated.
i need to get away.
also, i’m really hungry and i absolutely hate dieting but i hate being insecure even more. it’s not fair. god, i could really go for some comfort food right about now…
ps: “swag” is a really unintelligent and unattractive word, and people who say it make me feel grossed out. stop it.